(Unfin Ramble) Not-me here, not me… but me, there.

Journal Entry | about 1 month ago

Not-me here… but me, there.
Essential yet concrete, the fragments of micro-portions…
of matter in it’s refractions. Abstract symbols become the intangible inertia
and we live for connection, emanating cycles of paradigms and in the manifestations of revolutions, it was then ‘I’ was free, I had left my body. I had projected in to the space above my bed. I feel the soul exists and is indestructible.

Pulsating visions, unique sensory vibrations and the blackness of the subconscious. Externalizations in vast unknown and vivid lapses. Luminous psychical powerhouse, skin veil. Earth-bound. Next I, I myself, was standing on the floor beside my bed looking down at my physical body. At-one-ment. No anxiety in dreamlife. Passion in meaninglessness. Marveling at the glorious infinite everything.

One would consider, being a physical entity in the kingdoms of spiritual matter,
Real perception – Meaningful action/reaction is Inner Vital.
In the perpetual reconstructing of insecure vastness,
our hyper-tense senses are in a inner-conflict with outer decay.
Sometimes we rise, in our marvelous separateness.
Only our unflinching curiosity and inert immersions
bring to the light our need for extraordinary gatherings of belongingness.
Symbolic fluxes and vague participation; the exchange of surface desires.

Birth Arises, Decay Exists, and Death Continues.

-[Edit 2]-

Between it and inbetween it all; separated and theorized,
follow the voyeur of mishappenings,
follow space, upwards, outwards. Beyond skin we have it all yet nothing is clear. We were once hapy with our faults.

A man looks into the mirror. He examines himself.
“Yup that’s me alright.” He puts his hands up to his face and gently rests fingers upon his cheeks, he puts pressure on and slightly pulling down the tired look under the eyes, he pokes at himself,
“Who am I, really?”, he pauses and stares into his eyes unflinchingly.
“Who needs to really know?”
“How long have we known that the description of the world is better than the world itself?”

How I dream of being a non-being. As my outerself has become my physical entity my innerself becomes a psychical non-entity.

‘The path is narrow as the edge of a razor. Narrow is the way which leadeth unto life. And now there is no path here, since for pure man there is no law. And his soul is a lamp whose light is steady for it burns in a shelter where no winds come. May the infinite spirit of good bless all men and women.’

I must go now, the forest in my dreams has a waterfall which I must sleep under.


Asperger’s and the Social Benefits of Creativity – But Where are the Aspie Writers?

Carol Shay Hornung, Author

Asperger’s Syndrome and creativity – the two are certainly not mutually exclusive. People with autism see the world differently and should be encouraged to develop their creative interests.

Everyone has a natural desire to express themselves, and creativity provides a golden opportunity for socialization. I’ve always been uncomfortable at large family gatherings and I have a driving desire to document things. Throw a camera into the mix and a few basic scrapbooking supplies and something happens…

I started scrapbooking before scrapbooking was “cool.” I’m not fancy. I do fairly simple layouts on various colors of paper with a few sticker embellishments and lots of descriptive captions, especially names and dates. I put together a photo album each year and I always bring one or two of them along to family gatherings. People love to look at the books, we talk about the people in the pictures and my comfort level…

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Capitalism, Neurotypicality, and the War on Consciousness


“Within myself I know I am Different” — Cora Anderson

My magic, my poetry, my politics, and my medicine all arise from my experience of the world as alive — and that experience is a product of my divergent neurobiology. 

My senses take in torrents of information that sometimes overwhelm my capacity to process them, making me miss things that would seem obvious to most, but at other times (and sometimes simultaneously) make me aware of subtle presences in the world that elude others’ attention.  My brain process processes information in non-linear ways that make it easy for me to perceive patterns and connections in the world but difficult to complete a step-by-step process like paying the electrical bill.  I have a complex relationship with language — sometimes loquacious and poetic, other times completely non-verbal.   When I speak in metaphor, people tend to take me literally, and when I speak…

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take, eat, here is my body.

Life itself, which is irreversible, it’s inevitability born of the improbable, and it’s consistency of fragility, is like a conscious individual. Mankind is functioning in it’s directed growth, from infancy to maturity, if we ever find fulfillment, make sure it is transmitted.

Life is ceaseless discovery, life is movement.
we advance, to develop unification. I hope for perfection of the intangible universe within myself.

Earth is a team effort, yet almost daily, there are people out there that challenge progression like it is a backward evil.
Each of us is here to grow, develop, expand our understanding of these intricate forces at play that defy who we are and how we interact with other lifeforms. Some of us have gotten further in life – in order to control sanctimoniously, to deceive others into thinking that there is no choice in this world apart from what they believe to be the truth. Almost daily I am bombarded by thoughts of others which counteract the necessity of unity. This sickens me to my core. It is these times which a despair inside of me grows so large, in which chaotic thoughts seem unmanageable.
Humanity relies on progress. Anyone that fails to see that humanity is an essential collaboration is against humanity. I hope we realise we can never stop growth/
because to stop growth, would be to destroy that strong empath inside you. If we stopped growth, the essence of humanity would cease. Tyrants will never stop manipulating. Tyrants can only comprehend worship or fear.

We can believe in change, because it happens all around us. Because believing in Hope alone. We can Hope for the best, but we can’t  Just Hope for change, it will never change a thing.
We may instigate new patterns of transformation – only with the knowledge that we are too far along to change what has already happened, which has existed for a reason.

I volunteer to the earth the magnitudes of my life forces and all metaphysical essence.

EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted,  was to do with happiness, of yourself and others… and to make happiness HAPPEN.
i know you’re a searcher but it’s time to call it off.
The pain of coming back with nothing hurts too much to bare.
With energy depleted and mind exhausted…
…sometimes, to make happiness there has to be change.

our past is constructed of idealistic pathways, yet they constantly crumble and rebuild themselves.
Of these idealistic pathways – the vision you build for your future is exactly how plans form – they can change rapidly, or over time. They adapt.
Going astray of these paths is good, there is nothing wrong with it. everybody must feel their own way.
but sometimes a person will start feelinh that they are missing something – a sort of emptiness. Missing Love goes even deeper. But much will happen in this emptiness, so remain open.

love is not something we make, or do, but something we are.

What is Love? We know that it cannot be defined, but Love is that which places the free in bondage and to those in bondage gives freedom. He who understands the limitless power of Love, knows himself Love is a beauty which is a joy in itself. A beauty which is truth, and the truth of love is the truth of the universe.

It is the lamp of the soul that reveals the secrets of darkness. Love is lawless and infinite. Love needs no system in order to survive, and rises above colour, race and creed. We may spend a lot of time looking for love. Sometimes we may abandon the search for Love and find it was with us all along, usually in unexpected places. We may evaluate our own lives and accomplish personal happiness in our innerworlds. Hopefully this will lead to a Self-love. He who feels the need for being Loved, without Self-love, may attempt to buy power and pleasure in material guises, constructs and distractions. If he were to die without feeling pure Love, he would die powerless and pleasureless. Love, being the absolute joy of all life, makes us who we are. Love one another if you wish to survive. Thank you.

everything is expanding, there are no limits to growth. only the repressed and fearful inhibit themselves. the impulse to begin again…
i left my mind to came close to my senses.
take, eat, here is my body.

7 Ways To Show Love To Someone With Anxiety/Depression

Be Brave, and Talk

The hardest people to love are the ones who need it most.

In honour of Valentine’s Day, here are some ideas for showing love to friends and family members with anxiety/ depression:

1.) Give Compliments:

Chances are, someone who suffers from anxiety/depression also struggles with self esteem. Help her challenge her feelings of self loathing by giving her sincere, specific compliments. Being specific is really important, because it will make her more likely to remember what you said later. It will also make her more likely to believe you. For example, instead of saying, “You’re a good mom,” you could say something more meaningful: “You are so patient with your children. I love how you encourage them to keep trying. They are so lucky to have you.”
One thoughtful, genuine compliment has more power than 10 careless comments that feel like flattery. Put your heart into what you say.


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The 50 Weirdest Movies Ever Made


A Lynchian renaissance is happening at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts, where David Lynch studied painting before his surreal entry into filmmaking with 1977’s Eraserhead. The school is the site of Lynch’s first major museum exhibition in the United States. It was there that he created several short films to animate his artworks, planting the early seeds for Eraserhead — starring Jack Nance as a young father crippled by the anxiety of fatherhood. A mutant baby, industrial cityscape, and shadowy apartment building leave an indelible mark on the viewer. Criterion is re-releasing Eraserhead on Blu-ray September 16. In honor of Lynch and his surreal universe, we’re celebrating 50 other weird works on film — many that rival Lynch’s strange aesthetic.

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Sh*t People Say to People with Asperger’s

The Asperger Café

One of the challenges of having Asperger Syndrome is that most of us look so … normal. For the most part, it’s hard to pick us out of a crowd (at least initially): there’s no wheelchair, leg brace, or obvious physical clues to indicate that we are anything but Neurotypical, predictable, average — Just Like You.

So it is probably confusing to the rest of you when we show a preference for talking about math, oceanography, a beloved rock band, or bus seat repair, or start repeating the dialogue from a Monty Python movie.

Or when we simply look at you blankly when you talk at us about your kids, home renovations, or the plot of whatever reality TV show you watched last night.

(They say Aspergians dwell on their own “special interests” to the point of boring their listeners to death, but I would argue that Neurotypicals do the…

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